damn, grandma

i know i said that nobody fucks with the jesus, but shit, grandma be clappin' folks. straight ghostin' them fuckers ...in their toodles.

wrekanize.

get up in that asshole. fuck that asshole up.

my man

this is for real

i give you: SEXMAN
no joke.

wiener poopy

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

nobody fucks with the jesus... except these mutherfuckrs

more feline fun

i just think this is a funny idea.

every day, this woman lets her cat go and wander around the neighborhood while wearing a camera that takes shots every 15 seconds.



here's the gallery...

big pussy

that's a HUUUUUGE bitch!

funniest thing i've seen in a while

genius

say wurd

thank god i caught this one on my way to work.
pulled my pants up just in time. i don't think anyone else would've played me straight.

get off your butt and do it

tom vu will show you how!

stop staring at me

glumbert - THX for the Eyes

the truth is out there

my mother ...baked me this cookie.

fully flaired

it's getting a lot of play.
and, it's just a ton of fun to watch.

wonder if it's real. can't tell yet.

always burn your clothes

yikes!

moozic on the beeeeech

oh boy...



i don't know what to say.
but check out some other gems here.

mluughuuaawwhhh

delish!

think of all the attachments!

wonder if that chick comes with a cuisinart or a vacuum or something.

crazy cat lady

remember that crazy cat lady chick from the simpsons?



well this one puts her to shame.
don't forget to eat your cat food.

play with your food. PLAY WITH IT!

makes you think twice about playing with some melons... doesn't it?

verbotten.

nice cigar, fella.



like they say, it ain't the size of the boat; it's the motion of the ocean.
in this guy's case... he moves around A LOT.

do you rearize

this is an amazing spoof on a video that broke on youtube a while back.



here's the original.

owned

some of cheapest, easiest fun on the interwebs:



1. go to youtube.com
2. search 'owned'

alternatively



1. go to youtube.com
2. search 'get owned'

or C

1. go to youtube.com
2. search 'gets owned'

i swear it's comedy every single time.

hi yah!

maawwwwwwwwwuuuuugggghhhh

pussy on the mat

just watch it.
i really can't say anything else.

my new best friend

this thing--the "hip office"--is meant to make you more productive in the workplace. it holds your laptop, your clipboard. whatever.



they forgot one use though: tray holder at mickey D's.



muthafucka, i roll up and order like three value meals, and i don't even have to sit down. just put that shit on my productivity device and i'm walking AND eating.

"hip office"? more like "hip-py meal". yeah, i said it.

fat kids, start getting jealous.
i'm creeping up on you.... all heavy-breathing-like.

maybe this kid should go to a dutch university

i bet the girls go crazy when he pulls out his radio controlled flying device.

this dude gets ALL the bitzes.

take back everything i said about robots

this guy got a PhD from a Dutch university for studying sex.... with robots.

i'm in the wrong field.

huh?

because it's friday

that's right, play with your food

so it's a day late, but i couldn't resist.
this dude wails on some broccoli.

chop-a-broc-a-leeee-heeee!!!!

let's end on a high note

everybody loves poop. just accept it.

just plain weird

watch dem bitches

the internets be cuuuuuuurrrraayzy, yo. wurd.

hungary for war

2pac, much respek!

today is music day

that's all there is to it.

all the crap you see here today is an inspirational scrape of the beautiful music of the interwebs.
these are the songs that sing "Thursday" quietly in my ear, like a little retarded baby.

i wear my sunglasses all the fucking time

it's from australia.
'nuff said.

my wife's gonna kick your ass

this guy is a champ. can't you just let him take a leak?
also, great form on the can-toss.

kudos. all around.

i wear my sunglasses at night

where's my fuckin protein mom!

it's an oldie but a goodie folks. thanks for the tip, 'anonymous'.

supa man dat kapowski

best yet. no doubt about that.

snug it out

well-said

this genius courtesy of defective yeti

what the fuck?!

i want a massage!

my new bluetooth headset

i'm gonna look like a huge basass with my new hi-tech bluetooth
headset. so pumped to use this thing while walking down the street.

power-brokers: go fuck yourself.

politics: so RAVEn

killin it like a gay robot

killin it

one month later

skulking about streets in a dark, wet, and sloppy new york, i've begun to think that the romance of things is only an illusion. the happy folks drunk off of wunderlust and cab rides are merely that: drunk. when the daylight breaks, they're forced to look at things for what they are. the gasoline puddle ceases to glisten and simply smells. heel clicks on the pavement lose their echo, and the rhythm gets mottled. it's all timed out to something less complicated and more deterministic than any of us would like to admit. like it or not, there is a science to this. love and hope... they're hiding somewhere else, maybe under a rock or beneath the caving sidewalks.

this is a machine. let's not kid ourselves. everything is manufactured.