cosmic awesome

i wish i could dance this good

electronic holiday spirit

what the fuck?!

who said it was cool to send me a picture of a sleigh, some puppies, or a snowflake and shit and then type a note--in some douchey italic/script typeface--about how we should reflect on our loved ones and our lives and rejoice and be thankful and shit.

seriously, an electronic note like that is the most worthless thing i've probably ever received.

wow, you took a whole lot of time to bcc me on an email into which you cut and pasted some clip-art and a quote. you're a fucking sweetheart.

what's more is that i don't know and haven't personally met a single person that's sent me one of these things.

it's worse than spam.
at least that meaningless drivel gets cut off by my junk filter.

and i've gotten at least 10 of them so far.

merry fucking christmas.
bitches.

rawr!

um, not cool

is everything ok with you?

i want your entire friend network to know.. so that your life becomes shit for the next two weeks as they slowly ask you one by one "if everything's okay" and then you have to explain away your nasty case of herpes.

hamster on a piano

i'm a little obsessed with this.

the third member of Nelson

jizz in my pans

can't embed due to restrictions
but go ahead and take a look.

try not to jizz in your pants

trust me. it's awesome and totally SFW as long as you're wearing earphones.